22 January 2013

Relaxing my Grip on Diabetes

For much of my diabetic life I would say that management of my disease has been intense.  I strived for perfect blood sugars 24/7.  I logged my blood sugars religiously into a fancy excel spreadsheet thinking that the more data and charts I had could help me to solve the diabetes puzzle.  I thought it could give me the answer to perfect blood sugar management.  I wanted to get my A1C under 6 and my multiple finger sticks between 80-120mg/dl.

I didn't get my A1C under 6 and the zig zags and curves of my BG charts just left me more frustrated.

Since I've had my baby I've stopped aiming for perfect, instead focusing on good enough.  In my past, striving for perfect led me into way too many lows.  With a baby now, I can't afford to be going low once or twice a day.  Its just not safe with a little gal to look after, especially when its just the two of us at home most days.  Taking care of myself during a low is hard enough sometimes.  I can't take the risk of looking after my girl with a low blood sugar.  This was drilled into me by my endo and I've taken his words to heart.

So I've loosened up.  My goal is to keep my BGs steady and minimize lows.  I still do all the correct diabetes management practices - weighing and measuring foods, counting carbs, testing 6-10 times a day, correcting highs, etc.  If my BG is 150mg/dl I don't sweat it.

But I don't use my fancy spreadsheets anymore.  And it feels good.  It feels like diabetes is just another thing I do.  Like brushing my teeth.  I check my BG, take an appropriate action (eat if its low, correct if its high) and move on.  I don't agonize over it.  I don't let it consume me.  It feels simpler now and I like that.

My last A1C was in December and it was 6.8.  If I can keep it in the 6's I'm doing all right.  Its not the 5's.  Its not perfect.  But I'm okay with being good enough right now.  

1 comment:

Suzan Wood-Young said...

I'm so happy to hear you are being easier on yourself. My endo says I'm in the top 20% of his patients but I am no where ear perfect. I've been T1 38 years now with no complications. Striving for perfection can be very dangerous. I heard that a recent study trying to get near perfect control with T1's was cancelled because they had a number of subjects die as a result of low blood sugars. I suspect that even non-diabetics don't have perfect control.